We know that Forum readers have open minds and healthy sexual appetites. We also know that the human imagination seems to have hardly any limits when it comes to interesting sexual variations - this is, of course, borne out by your letters. If, however, we had to compile a Top Ten of readers' favourite things, we are pretty sure that damp delights, non-accidental accidents - in short, good old knicker-wetting - would be fairly high up on the list. The appeal of knicker-wetting is not that hard to understand. The delicious naughtiness, the sexy shock value of breaking this taboo, which is the first and foremost instilled in us by our parents, can be tremendously thrilling. Also, the physical sensations can be fun as well: the warmth; the wetness; the slippery, sticky feeling of sopping fabric against the skin. However, to the mundane world, this is still something strange, something secret, something pretty sick, even. In reality, it's no stranger than anything else. The romantics who want sex to be all pink clouds and rainbows forget that even the straightest of missionary sex involves sweat, strange sounds and, unless you. are using condoms, a damp patch or two on the sheets. Still, as quite a lot of people still find this a difficult subject to - er - launch into, as it were, we have prepared this guide to the practicalities of piddling for pleasure. The first difficulty that some people, particularly women, have been known to encounter is the widdle that won't -having agreed with their partners that they would like to at least experiment with watersports, they find, at the crucial moment, that their bladders simply will not oblige. Toilet training is, after all, a deep-seated reflex, and the conditioning can be very strong. Usually, breaking the taboo for the first time means that subsequent occasions will be easier. It's probably best to try your first time somewhere private, and easy to clean - like your own bathroom. Wear old clothes, or ones that are very easily washed. Relax, and give yourself plenty of time- perhaps indulging in a little foreplay while the urge to urinate gets stronger. When you really feel as if you are bursting, go to the bathroom and stand in the bath. Plenty of encouragement from an enthusiastic partner will help, and eventually, nature will take its course. Alternatively, you could follow the example of the lady who told me this splashing story. "I'd been going out with Peter for about three months, and I knew he was a Forum reader, and very broad- minded - I'm pretty broadminded myself, and I often used to read his copies of the magazine. What I did notice after a while, though, was that the mags always seemed to fall open at pages with letters about weeing yourself! I mentioned it to him, and he admitted that he'd always been really turned on by the idea of a woman wetting her knickers - the upshot of it all was that he asked me if I'd do it and let him watch. Well, we tried several times, but no matter what, I just couldn't seem to let go. Peter was very nice about it, and told me not to worry, but I felt a bit mean, spoiling his fun - and I have to admit, I was starting to like the idea of doing something so naughty. So, one Saturday evening, when I was going to meet him in the pub and then stay the night at his flat, I put on my old, very tight jeans, which had a bootlace in place of the zip. Carefully, I knotted the bootlace so nothing on earth would get it undone again, tucked a clean pair of knickers into my bag and set off. Pete had stopped mentioning knicker wetting at all by now, so I reckoned I'd give him a really good surprise. "We had a couple of pints apiece, and a game of pool, and then it was time to go home. I actually nipped into the ladies', suddenly thinking I didn't have the nerve to go through with my plan, but I'd tied up that knot even more tightly than I thought - nothing short of scissors would get me out of those jeans. I wanted to wee quite badly, so I hurried back to Pete and asked if we could leave straight away. Once we'd got out of the pub, and were setting off through the park, I confessed my predicament to him. '"I can't get my jeans undone - and even if I could bhe rest of the way home!" I wailed. Pete was sympathetic, and said we'd walk as quickly as possible, but he had this funny, excited kind of look in his eyes as we hurried down the hill, and I knew he was hoping I'd wet myself. "Well, I held on until we got to the bottom of the hill, by which time I was keeping my thighs so tightly pressed together that I was taking little shuffling steps like a geisha girl. Peter stopped, turned round, and looked at me. '"There's no-one around," he said. "If I were you, I'd do it - you'll never make it home. Go on - do it in your jeans." "Just those simple words - "do it in your jeans" - had an amazing effect on me. Almost without thinking about it, I spread my legs, and simply let the whole lot flood into my jeans, soaking my crotch and splashing on to the path. God, I didn't know it was possible for a human bladder to hold that much! Anyway, when we got home, and he cut me out of my poor jeans, we had the most marvellous fuck - and ever since then, our sex life has been lots better. I pee my pants quite regularly -- and Pete just loves to watch me." The human bladder can certainly hold a lot of pee, though it has to be said that the gallons and torrents and oceans described by some correspondents perhaps owe a little more to imagination than to biology. One trick that is definitely inadvisable for wetting fans is the use of diuretic medicines. The over-the-counter ones, especially the herbal variety, are generally quite mild but still, a healthy bladder shouldn't need any more assistance than a reasonable intake of fluids - and any lager and cider drinkers among you are off to a head start here. If you don't like lager or cider, then any beer or wine can be relied on to make you want to go - and if you don't drink alcohol, plain old water will do. A couple of pints of water, or beer, or three glasses of wine, can be drunk as a preliminary to a wetting session, and will usually have the desired effect within about half an hour. I remember reading some time ago that prostitutes in exotic foreign brothels had access to various pills that would transform their urine into all the colours of the rainbow; unfortunately, I have no idea what these were composed of, or whether they worked. I'm not sure they'd be a good idea, anyway... So much for letting go - how about the consequences on the material world? Well, you can freely flood any washable clothes, but caution is advisable with fabrics like velvet, leather or things that have to be dry-cleaned. On the whole, it's a good idea to wash widdle off clothes before it has a chance to dry; if you're concerned about smells or staining, use one of the commercial brands of nappy soaking solution. Household furnishings are a different matter; it's better on the whole to put down plastic bags, or several thicknesses of old towels, before flooding your living room. Lino floors are okay - but with kitchen roll and wipe down later with household detergent. A lady reader with a passion for wetting sent in the following tale: "Last summer I was watching Wimbledon on my own at home, and was literally dribbling pee in my pants rather than miss the last few games. Something snapped inside me and, without a second thought, I slipped off the sofa and squatted in front of the TV, flicking up the corner of the rug out of the way before giving up the struggle. A spreading warm feeling and odd gurgling sounds told me that I was definitely making progress, and I glanced down to see the crotch of my pants soaked, and ballooning out with the force of my piss gushing into them. After the match ended, I mopped up the pool on the vinyl floor and rinsed out my sodden pants, but not before reaching a climax almost without touching my warm, pee-soaked pubes, half out of the excitement oand stayed where it was for absolutely ages. I was wriggling in my seat and biting the back of my hand - it's a good job no one was there to see me, I must have looked like a loony. "In the end, I couldn't hold on any longer, and was wondering whether to piss on the floor of the carriage, or on the seat , and what I'd do if someone got into my carriage at the next stop. Then I remembered that I had a big bath-towel in my holdall - and three or four plastic bags. I grabbed the towel, gasping aloud, now, I wanted to go so badly, then rolled-it up, rammed it between my legs - didn't even think about taking my knickers down, there wasn't time. I just pissed and pissed and pissed into this towel. The relief was incredible - and the physical sensations were great, just so much pleasure, from relieving the pressure, and not only that, the roughness of the towel on my sensitive labia and clit was very exciting, very stimulating. I ended up rubbing myself to a climax with the towel, through my dripping knickers! "I dumped the wet towel and my knickers in a plastic bag, tied it up tightly and tucked it back in my holdall, then when I got home I just popped it in washing machine. Now, sometimes when I'm home on my own, I'll drink gallons of tea and water, until I'm bursting, then stand in the bath and piss into a rolled-up towel, before rubbing myself off. It's fun, and I guess it's fairly safe sex as well." In fact, a great many of our correspondents on the subject have discovered the thrill of knicker-wetting, literally, by accident. For some, the thrill is compounded by passers by knowing their "disgrace," others prefer not to be seen or interrupted in full flood. It is just possible that you could be charged with public indecency or insulting behaviour if you deliberately pee in public - remember the Rolling Stones? On the whole, though, this is unlikely if you are sensible, so don't pee somewhere you could cause distress or offence to others if you can possibly help it - such as in swimming pools or near picnic areas. Dark alleys, bus shelters and so on are generally in the sort of grotty, grubby state where a pint of pee won't make much difference in terms of annoyance to other users - but most plant life objects to becoming a toilet. The exception to this is your ecofriendly compost heap, which is much improved by the addition of ammoniacal substances such as human pee. Oh, and should you ever be stung by a jellyfish, I am reliably informed that fresh urine will lessen the pain of the stings. Happy accidents, everyone, and keep those letters flooding in.
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